earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Talked to Nate, kind of flirted. Think i fixed things, but not sure. He's out of town for business for a week, so we are getting back after I get off of work on Wednesday.

Who would have thought I would be saying that.. "When I get off work"

In sadder news, mom's having some effects from the chemo already. She's having trouble eating. This is distressing. I had some herbal suggestions for helping with that, but she seemed to take offense and got off the phone quickly.

I was just trying to help......
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
I think the reason I've made such money is because I've consequently been shuffling designs, and I've had repeat customers..

When I cut back for this supposed "Real Job", I expect I will lose the repeat folks. Not sure what to do about this.

Two weeks almost.. Wow.

Heard from mom again, she's been researching things on the internet. I could post the details she gave me, but that would just be depressing. She's very excited that she will be losing weight.. but sad she hasn't lost any weight yet... She was acting as if it were a fashion thing. I could hardly believe it. I had to make up an excuse and get off the phone...

It's admirable how one can be looking toward their own death, and not cave or collapse. She doesn't sound like an optimist... She's not talking about beating it. She's been on chemo, for a few days, and things are early yet, she goes in for surgery on the 14th of next month to remove some from her lung... Goddess... And that's same day I start work.

I promised I would meet her after work.

She says that she's glad to have me in her life, and that I am a source of strength for her.
Flattering, no less... But way to put on some pressure on a girl.

I wish there were more I could do...
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Back home...

Eight months. That's what they are saying.

All the pain, heartache she has given me, and all the flack..

Oh yeah, I got the job. Not really sure I should be happy or not.
She was happy... I set a far out start date, March 15.

I want to get some peace between us before she goes...
Goddess, before she goes....

I can't believe i'm thinking like this. I'm too young for this.

Wow...

Jan. 21st, 2011 12:27 pm
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
So, that interview failed completely. I think they don't hire you if you break down crying in the middle of stuff.

Driving up tomorrow to see mom.

I wish I knew why she didn't tell me. I wish the prognosis were better..
What could get worse..

I already got flamed for some of my jewelry..

I have an email from the tech firm, I'm scared to open it, i'm sure it's a rejection and I can't take that right now..
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Okay, been a couple weeks since I have talked to my mother. Perhaps I should visit and see if she's not dead on the floor or something....

Hah. It has been kind of peaceful, I dunno, i started the job hunt because of her, and seem to have kept up on my own for me. I guess people change, perhaps. Perhaps it's just the success. Perhaps it's my positive energy work, perhaps the world will come crashing down upon me.

Probably the latter....
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
So, I was supposed to call mom.. And I forgot... Hangovers will do that, but I want to wait so I can tell her the good news..

Two Phone Interviews up coming! Yes yes, and they are promising. One is for an office manager at this tech company. Looks like a really good thing.

Perhaps mom will be happy that I am actually somewhat interested in this..

Of course if I get this, I have to scale back on the crafties, and I love them so.

Tomorrow, Tree Time to clear my head, Interview, Mom Call.

That..

Nov. 12th, 2010 03:14 pm
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
..went just as you would expect.

demoralizing. and I didn't even want the stupid job.

still.

I hate my life some weeks.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
They want to phone interview me tomorrow for the Secretary job.

I had forgotten about that job, perhaps the workings I had been doing for positive energy are paying off. And being a good person in general. Three Times Three, what I send out it comes back to me... I scrape by living this life, I must have a hella karmic debt.

Of course, the point is to satisfy the parental unit. She means well, I suppose.
If she weren't so damned controlling. I think i'll wait to send her an email about it tomorrow.

There's something appealing about a regular paycheck and not having to hope and pray that crafts will sell in order to make the rent.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Ok. So steel is frigging hard. I went through one cutting wheel on the dremel. I'm going to have to be creative with this. I'm glad he paid me in advance. Cut myself on a raw edge. This could be a while.

Didn't get the job, not too unexpected. Sent mom email. Got back snarky reply about how my attitude is poor, and how I need a new wardrobe. Mom, you stopped dressing me when I was 10. No you can't re-start now.

Decided to celebrate today by going to the graveyard, lying under a tree, and re-reading lord of the rings.

Yep, good times. Graveyards are peaceful. I can really ground and center there. It's the place for me.

Also ordering big stompy boots from internet, helped a lot.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
The earrings I was working out turned out well. I found some of these little locks, made an interesting mechanical locking set..

But that lead to a commission! Of course, this guy wanted a necklace that incorporates them for his girlfriend. Yeah... Uh.. Right.. Of course he wants steel wire and links in it, and I haven't worked with steel before. So this should be interesting.

I got called for a phone interview with the lawyers office. I kind of suspect that they won't want me, they have this dress code that I am totally not into. But we'll see. We're doing this to humor mom anyhow.

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