Belladonna and Absinthe

Oh my goodness. Life is getting ready to change.

I start work tomorrow. This is scary.
I have to be there for mom's recovery after surgery...
Then an actual two days later...

This is my life, bits of good counter-balanced by some bad.
The balance of shadow and light. Sounds like fate to me.

Bunch of us are getting together tomorrow evening at the 99 to celebrate.
Or mourn as the case may be.

Worried about mom. I hope she comes out ok. Talk about making the first day nervous.

Car has been acting up, sputtering and such.
Glad Steve is coming to dinner. I'll get him to look at it afterward :D (Hi steve, I know you read this)

No change in her status. She seems so normal, almost cheerful.

She's very happy i'm starting the new job, and she seems to be overly encouraging me to close down the etsy store.

I can't do that. Ignoring the wasted money on supplies (the only argument she listens to), creating things is one of my greatest loves. I can't give up everything for her. But at the same time..

I feel an obligation...

That depresses me even more. I am reducing the number of available items on the store so I have time for this supposed "Real Job".

Date with Nate this thursday, have no idea why i said yes. Likely end in disaster.

So, that interview failed completely. I think they don't hire you if you break down crying in the middle of stuff.

Driving up tomorrow to see mom.

I wish I knew why she didn't tell me. I wish the prognosis were better..
What could get worse..

I already got flamed for some of my jewelry..

I have an email from the tech firm, I'm scared to open it, i'm sure it's a rejection and I can't take that right now..

Okay, been a couple weeks since I have talked to my mother. Perhaps I should visit and see if she's not dead on the floor or something....

Hah. It has been kind of peaceful, I dunno, i started the job hunt because of her, and seem to have kept up on my own for me. I guess people change, perhaps. Perhaps it's just the success. Perhaps it's my positive energy work, perhaps the world will come crashing down upon me.

Probably the latter....

Yeah, I died tonight. Keith did give me fair warning, I swear, but I couldn't help but think Kalandra would take the shot. She did, and got smacked for like 140 points of damage. Dead-Dead. Kind of brought the game to a screeching halt.

I think he's going to start up some sort of quest to bring me back to life, not sure. At least I get to roleplay her pets while the rest of the guys carry my body around.

Keith was tossing about ideas for alternate games.. He has this dumb idea that there should be a game, where we each play ourselves, and are transported into a fantasy land. I laughed, that was TOTALLY done in "The Guardians of the Flame" - how non-original, I don't think I'd ever play in a game like that.

Let's see, what else happened. Sales are increasing! It's christmas time!
THe most, money-ful time..... of the year....... *sings*
I made some christmas themed stuff. Sells reasonably well. I think I put in a good 6 or so hours a day making jewelry at this point, it's a lot.. And an hour a week fooling with the web. I almost make minimum wage! Commercialism yay. Or something.

Speaking of which, SOLSTICE IS COMING.

Sent in two more job applications this week. I think, I shall call mother on christmas, and be pleasant and kind to her. Hopefully she will be happy.

They want to phone interview me tomorrow for the Secretary job.

I had forgotten about that job, perhaps the workings I had been doing for positive energy are paying off. And being a good person in general. Three Times Three, what I send out it comes back to me... I scrape by living this life, I must have a hella karmic debt.

Of course, the point is to satisfy the parental unit. She means well, I suppose.
If she weren't so damned controlling. I think i'll wait to send her an email about it tomorrow.

There's something appealing about a regular paycheck and not having to hope and pray that crafts will sell in order to make the rent.