Belladonna and Absinthe

Talked to Nate, kind of flirted. Think i fixed things, but not sure. He's out of town for business for a week, so we are getting back after I get off of work on Wednesday.

Who would have thought I would be saying that.. "When I get off work"

In sadder news, mom's having some effects from the chemo already. She's having trouble eating. This is distressing. I had some herbal suggestions for helping with that, but she seemed to take offense and got off the phone quickly.

I was just trying to help......

So, I've made enough money off the crafties over the past year.

I'm told that I should have been keeping back money for taxes?!?

Uh... help.

Went to dinner on thursday. Played some silly games together.. Talked a bunch, but perhaps not as much as I would have normally talked to some one.

He did flirt, and he kissed me, several times. Even made comments about inviting me back to his place...

And it's been two days since I have heard a single word from him.

Not a Single Word. He's seen me online. Of course, this begs the question why haven't I contacted him....

Still. Nothing. WTH. Tomorrow is valentines. Perhaps I shall get a crossbow, paint some quarrels pink with hearts on them, and go on a mass murder spree. Ok, I won't do that for real.. But sometimes people make me hate our species.

Perhaps I shall get a cat after all.

No change in her status. She seems so normal, almost cheerful.

She's very happy i'm starting the new job, and she seems to be overly encouraging me to close down the etsy store.

I can't do that. Ignoring the wasted money on supplies (the only argument she listens to), creating things is one of my greatest loves. I can't give up everything for her. But at the same time..

I feel an obligation...

That depresses me even more. I am reducing the number of available items on the store so I have time for this supposed "Real Job".

Date with Nate this thursday, have no idea why i said yes. Likely end in disaster.

Back home...

Eight months. That's what they are saying.

All the pain, heartache she has given me, and all the flack..

Oh yeah, I got the job. Not really sure I should be happy or not.
She was happy... I set a far out start date, March 15.

I want to get some peace between us before she goes...
Goddess, before she goes....

I can't believe i'm thinking like this. I'm too young for this.

she contacted me... she's been in the hospital.

she's got pancreatic cancer...

two months at best...

crashing down...

no idea what to say..

Interview'd.

That went rather well! Was a tech office, so there was nothing about a dress code, everyone seemed liberal and cool. Of course, there were several guys who seem to have failed to wash for a few weeks. And the lack of shoes.

I guess you get the good with the bad.

Hopefully they'll call back..

Tried to call mom today, and couldn't get ahold of her. Unusual, i'd almost think that she is avoiding my calls.

Been busy sending out orders, people seem to be ordering a lot due to the waltham steampunk thing. Go go steampunks, as I always say..

Will call mom tomorrow.

I'm told I got kissed... Rather, I'm told I tossed myself at someone..

I wish I remembered it, or who it was. Why do I have a heart drawn on my hand with sharpie?

Note to self: don't get drunk.

And I'm supposed to call mom this afternoon. I am going to have a nap.

So today is commercial-mas, and I gave my mother her obligatory phone call.
Once again, she was surprisingly pleasant. A lot less stressed. We actually got along.

See, once again, the workings, do work!

I did send out some gifts to friends, as they tend to enjoy getting gifts (who doesn't)
Everyone seemed to like the things I gave them.

Also, A VERY SCARY SOLSTICE. Best. Album. Evar! Go get it now.

Yeah, I died tonight. Keith did give me fair warning, I swear, but I couldn't help but think Kalandra would take the shot. She did, and got smacked for like 140 points of damage. Dead-Dead. Kind of brought the game to a screeching halt.

I think he's going to start up some sort of quest to bring me back to life, not sure. At least I get to roleplay her pets while the rest of the guys carry my body around.

Keith was tossing about ideas for alternate games.. He has this dumb idea that there should be a game, where we each play ourselves, and are transported into a fantasy land. I laughed, that was TOTALLY done in "The Guardians of the Flame" - how non-original, I don't think I'd ever play in a game like that.

Let's see, what else happened. Sales are increasing! It's christmas time!
THe most, money-ful time..... of the year....... *sings*
I made some christmas themed stuff. Sells reasonably well. I think I put in a good 6 or so hours a day making jewelry at this point, it's a lot.. And an hour a week fooling with the web. I almost make minimum wage! Commercialism yay. Or something.

Speaking of which, SOLSTICE IS COMING.

Sent in two more job applications this week. I think, I shall call mother on christmas, and be pleasant and kind to her. Hopefully she will be happy.