The Plan.

Mar. 13th, 2011 12:20 pm
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Oh my goodness. Life is getting ready to change.

I start work tomorrow. This is scary.
I have to be there for mom's recovery after surgery...
Then an actual two days later...

This is my life, bits of good counter-balanced by some bad.
The balance of shadow and light. Sounds like fate to me.

Bunch of us are getting together tomorrow evening at the 99 to celebrate.
Or mourn as the case may be.

Worried about mom. I hope she comes out ok. Talk about making the first day nervous.

Car has been acting up, sputtering and such.
Glad Steve is coming to dinner. I'll get him to look at it afterward :D (Hi steve, I know you read this)

So yeah..

Feb. 15th, 2011 04:25 pm
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Talked to steve, he said that nate might have thought he went over the line or something, and that's it. And since I gave him NO feedback...

Sigh, so yeah my fault overall, typical. I'll have to crawl under a rock.

Perhaps i shall get the guts to talk to him.. Perhaps I'll work hiding under a rock.

Talked to mom again, so they say she has six months. That's so bizarre. To know when your life will approximately end. I know that we have a lot of differences. But it's a painful wasting death.

Not sure that I would want to go like that, and I'm not really sure I can bear to watch her go like that. Goddess Bless... I guess that's the hardest part, knowing the pain and agony. Or the drugged out haze. Sure she'll be gone, and move on to her next life, but really....

I'm being selfish with that thought...

Not only does fate hate me, but it hates my family too.

At least I get to start a new job soon. I wonder how fate is going to screw me here as well.

What?

Feb. 13th, 2011 11:45 am
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Went to dinner on thursday. Played some silly games together.. Talked a bunch, but perhaps not as much as I would have normally talked to some one.

He did flirt, and he kissed me, several times. Even made comments about inviting me back to his place...

And it's been two days since I have heard a single word from him.

Not a Single Word. He's seen me online. Of course, this begs the question why haven't I contacted him....

Still. Nothing. WTH. Tomorrow is valentines. Perhaps I shall get a crossbow, paint some quarrels pink with hearts on them, and go on a mass murder spree. Ok, I won't do that for real.. But sometimes people make me hate our species.

Perhaps I shall get a cat after all.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
That went surprisingly well I think, I'm slightly confused. But more later! bed now.

No change

Feb. 7th, 2011 08:53 pm
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
No change in her status. She seems so normal, almost cheerful.

She's very happy i'm starting the new job, and she seems to be overly encouraging me to close down the etsy store.

I can't do that. Ignoring the wasted money on supplies (the only argument she listens to), creating things is one of my greatest loves. I can't give up everything for her. But at the same time..

I feel an obligation...

That depresses me even more. I am reducing the number of available items on the store so I have time for this supposed "Real Job".

Date with Nate this thursday, have no idea why i said yes. Likely end in disaster.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Happy new year, it's Imbolic.

I really do hope things start looking up. Rebirth, the start of spring.

I've talked to mom most days, it's difficult to talk to her, but it she goes on..
I've been working on a few rituals, sending energy her way.. But, my heart doesn't feel in it.
So the idea that it would even help seems low.

I'll just hold onto hope things get better.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Back home...

Eight months. That's what they are saying.

All the pain, heartache she has given me, and all the flack..

Oh yeah, I got the job. Not really sure I should be happy or not.
She was happy... I set a far out start date, March 15.

I want to get some peace between us before she goes...
Goddess, before she goes....

I can't believe i'm thinking like this. I'm too young for this.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
So, I was supposed to call mom.. And I forgot... Hangovers will do that, but I want to wait so I can tell her the good news..

Two Phone Interviews up coming! Yes yes, and they are promising. One is for an office manager at this tech company. Looks like a really good thing.

Perhaps mom will be happy that I am actually somewhat interested in this..

Of course if I get this, I have to scale back on the crafties, and I love them so.

Tomorrow, Tree Time to clear my head, Interview, Mom Call.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
So today is commercial-mas, and I gave my mother her obligatory phone call.
Once again, she was surprisingly pleasant. A lot less stressed. We actually got along.

See, once again, the workings, do work!

I did send out some gifts to friends, as they tend to enjoy getting gifts (who doesn't)
Everyone seemed to like the things I gave them.

Also, A VERY SCARY SOLSTICE. Best. Album. Evar! Go get it now.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
Happy Solstice everyone!

We are halfway through the dark!

Sales of the crafties are all going well. I have TWO phone interviews coming up next week.

I have a new coat, and I even called my mother!
She was /pleasant/ to me! Maybe a bit distant, but pleasant nonetheless.

All that positive energy work I've been doing must be paying off.

Off to prepare for the ritual!
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
I'm really really excited about this steampunk fad. It's actually making me a bunch of money.
That keeps me fed, and housed - which is very good.

I was at a junk store, and I found a whole box of old broken watches. Major Score!!
I got them for $4!!! The owner was so confused as to why I was excited.

I've ordered some brass wire and brass sheet, that I expect are going to be here in a week.
I already have some ideas for some new pieces up on etsy by the end of next week.

I heard someone say "steampunk is when goths discovered brown". I like that.
However, I still prefer black. Perhaps I should order a corset at some point though...

Heard from mom again, "I only care about you, blah blah". Yeah, right. That's why I'm living in this hole, and they drive a mercedes. To silence my parents, I have applied to two respectable positions in town. Administrative Assistant type jobs. We'll see if they even call me bac. I should finish my degree, but, losing all those credits when I switched majors set me back big time.

Stupid car is acting up again, I expect I'll call Steve and have him look at it. Perhaps I'll buy him dinner. We haven't hung out in a while. That could be fun.
earthygothchick: Found here: http://www.blackwaterfall.com/5hippy.php (Default)
So here I sit, alone in my apartment, watching a depressing show about how a bunch of people died today. I would throw away the TV if it were not for the fact that you can play video games on it.

At least the jingoistic rhetoric is dying down from years ago. However, it is still depressing.

I expect that this day won't ever be for me again. And yes, I am an awful person for thinking that.

Is typical, no calls from mom or anything. I guess they are upset that I don't have a "real job" yet.
As is typical. Got some emails from friends and the coven, perhaps next year I'll try to arrange a dinner mob.

Perhaps next year i'll have a boyfriend to arrange a dinner mob for me. Blah.

Time for music and a nap.

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